Gratitude Overwhelm Approaching

Happy Mother's Day to the Many Extraordinary Mothers in My Life

I began receiving Mother’s Day well wishes before I opened my eyes this morning. From Italy, Prague, North Carolina. A new friend, an old friend, a cousin. I received a beautiful love-filled message from the mom of the twins I care for. I received an incredibly generous message from a friend who never got to be a mother despite desperately wanting to.

I replied gratefully to all who reached out to me, sent a few love notes to moms myself, and headed out to deliver food to a friend and fellow mom (and grandmother) facing hardship.

My own kids—the creatures who made me a mom—were still asleep when I left.

I started my day before I opened my eyes to receive love from around the world surrounded by purring toasters, Bonnie and Draco, my trusty felines. These cats have seen me through hell and back, and I wake up with ENORMOUS love and gratitude for them every single morning. The first thing I say every single day I am with them is “I love you so much!” Because I do. These critters. My heart. No boundaries.

As I drove to deliver food to my friend who has recently been diagnosed with ALS, I received coaching via Telegram from a business coach I worked with years ago and have recently reconnected with. I got a Mother’s Day call from my brother and we had a nice, long catch up. I got to see my friend and meet her husband and hand him tomorrow night’s dinner. She and I will catch up for real next week when I go for a longer visit.

More texts of love on my way home from Hyattsville and Easton.

And then I walk in to a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my kids, who are busily cleaning the kitchen?! The dishwasher is running, the sink is empty, the drying rack is cleared. The counter is shiny. I tried to pick my jaw up from the floor. And then they proposed brunch.

I worried out loud that all the brunch spots would be overwhelmed today—proposed picking up lunch and having a picnic. But they convinced me to try a nearby place for brunch, and it was all but empty. We had a delicious meal, everyone ate everything, and we spent the whole time talking about colleges and our upcoming college tour trips. I feel so deeply grateful to know I can and will be an enormous asset to my kiddos in this application process that is barreling down on us. It’s like there was a reason I applied to 20 schools myself and then studied admissions for 10 years as my job. To help my kids navigate this gnarly process. I am deeply grateful to have so much knowledge and expertise to share with them. I can’t quite believe I’m gearing up to make the West Coast college trip with my kids just like my parents did with me. I think it was 36 years ago. I don’t relish the stress the next couple of years will most undoubtedly include. But I couldn’t really be much better prepared for it.

My 16yo whipped out his debit card to pay for brunch. I have never been treated to a meal out by my kids before. It felt delightful to accept.

And then we all went thrifting together. SWOON.

Kid 2 has been a thrifter for years, but Kid 1 has completely rejected the idea of O.P.S. (other people’s sh!t). Until today. : ) I do believe Kid 2 and I may have converted a resister into a full-fledged thrifting addict. Watching Kid 1 get so excited about his finds was a gift in itself.

“It’s so much better than the mall,” he said. Kid 2 and I nodded knowingly.

The bouquet from my kids was picked by their father from his back yard and delivered outside my door this morning before they woke up. I thanked him for it when I dropped them off. Got to look at the music room taking shape. My baby girl is getting a baby grand piano delivered this week. Her dad repainted the dining room and moved out the table to prepare for its arrival. Any part of me that is upset he gets to give the extravagant gifts is silenced by the gratitude of my other parts. Who love that my kid has a dad who is celebrating her talent, hard work, and nervous system regulation with an incredible instrument that will keep her engaged in a passion that could also become a career.

The degree to which Kid 1 has turned to me this year for support, advice, and understanding makes my heart swell. Knowing that his dad and I are united in advocating for his needs is another remarkable gift of this season.

As I dropped Kid 1 and 2 off at dad’s, I also got to canoodle with Kid 3. My beloved German Shepherd Zoe. I can’t have a dog right now, so I have regular visitation with my beauty every other Sunday and hang with dogs at two other people’s houses in the meantime.

As I returned from dropping off the kids, I bumped into my neighbor in the parking garage who invited to take me on a drive in his new Corvette, parked beside his truck. After he returns from his son’s college graduation in Texas. Before his grandson comes for the summer from Fayettesville, NC. Where my grandmother was from.

Next I will drop by my other neighbor's, Dee, to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day and deliver a cast iron skillet filled with riso al forno. My second delivery of the day.

Then I will hop in the car and drive south, because doing so lowers my blood pressure. And I will celebrate Mother’s Day some more with someone else who has lost their mother.

And on the way I will call my step-mother and thank her for mothering me in the ways she did.

And write a love letter to my mama. For teaching me how to be a mama and for mothering me so well. My mother’s mothering taught me how to be the nurturer I am today. My mother’s mothering was exponentialized in me.

I am such a lucky mama. I am so extremely grateful.

I send love to all mothers, to all humans missing their mothers, to all humans who wanted to be mothers and couldn’t, to all mothers missing their children, and to everyone else this day touches in ways that are both joyous and deeply painful.

I feel you.

All I ever knew I wanted to be was a mother. Of course, I have been and will be so many other things as well. But mother is my badge of honor, my greatest treasure, my highest achievement, my most vital service. I do not take motherhood for granted. I cherish and celebrate it every day.